Name: How to handle awkward or aggressive Thanksgiving dinner conversations
Uploaded: 2025-11-26T17:09:22.262Z
Duration: 4 min 25 s
Description: Americans gathering for Thanksgiving may face some tough topics of conversation at the dinner table. Dr. Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at the Weill Cornell Medical College, joins CBS News with advice.

Americans gathering for Thanksgiving may face some tough topics of conversation at the dinner table. Dr. Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at the Weill Cornell Medical College, joins CBS News with advice.

California

Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical Center, provided guidance on navigating uncomfortable or sensitive conversations during Thanksgiving gatherings. She advised preparing responses in advance, setting boundaries, and pivoting to neutral topics to reduce anxiety and maintain positive relationships.

Dr. Saltz also recommended limiting alcohol consumption to help keep conversations under control and encouraged individuals to take breaks if discussions become heated. She reassured viewers that feeling anxious about family gatherings is common and that focusing on relationships rather than winning arguments can lead to a more pleasant holiday experience.

How to handle awkward or aggressive Thanksgiving dinner conversations

All right, people all across the country, myself included, are looking forward to filling their plates tomorrow, but something we all may have more trouble filling is awkward pauses that tend to happen during conversations with family members that we don't regularly see and friends of the family who we don't always chat with. You know, the ones who often bring up delicate subjects like your politics, your career track, or your love life. Well, thankfully, someone's here to help us make these conversations less unpleasant. Dr. Gail Saltz is an associate professor of psychiatry at the Weill Cornell Medical Center and has all the tips and tricks we need and those phrases to make things more comfortable. Doctor, welcome. Thank you. Great to have you here. So let's say our viewers are sitting at the dinner table and someone asks them an uncomfortable political question. How should they respond? Well, let me start out with, today is the day to prepare your tactics. You know what's gonna come up, right? So you're gonna prepare lines that you'll feel comfortable saying, which will make you less anxious when they come up. And know that the most important thing today is these relationships. Not being right, not giving the right answer, not over-revealing yourself if that doesn't make you comfortable. So at the end of the day, you wanna, whatever you're gonna do, do it with kindness. So someone brings up politics and you know it's gonna be a disagreement, it's gonna get explosive. It's okay to either deflect, set a boundary, or pivot to another topic. So for example, you're gonna say, hey, you know what, I don't feel comfortable talking about politics today. I just love being with you and I want everything to be nice. Let's talk about football. Hey, how's your dog doing? Have a topic you're ready to pivot to, set a boundary, deflect the topic. And it's not just politics either. Some relatives or friends of the family may think they're being kind when they say, well, where was that person you were dating last year? Where have they gone? Where are your relationships these days? I don't see you out. Assume they are not saying this to be cruel to you, but they are interested and they are curious. And again, it is okay for you to not be vulnerable with your information with someone where you don't trust and really know they're gonna support you, okay? So in that vein, if this is not a person that you would normally share that information with, it's okay to say, you know what, everything is fine. Or you could say something neutral. You know what, it's fine, but like nothing is new. Let's go on to, and again, have your pivot ready, you know, to whatever feels like comfortable to you. And it sounds like what you're saying is keep it light, keep things friendly, but jump to a topic you'd rather speak about. State, this one's not really working for me, either with a neutral topic or with a actually this one's not working for me. You can even say something like, you know what, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this topic. Let's move on. Let's just move on and then have your pivot ready. You know, I saw a phrase of someone saying something like, well, look, I'm here to eat. Can I get you another drink? You know, keep it light, but drinking might be a problem. Drinking, don't have another drink. Alcohol disinhibits everybody. It'll be harder for you to employ your tactics and everybody else's if there's a lot of drinking. So try to limit the alcohol so you can feel in control. Keep Uncle Frank away from the wine bottle. That's another good tip. What is the best guidance for someone who, you know, they hear this advice, they think it's all well-meaning, but they just still feel this sense of anxiety going to the dinner table, going to the relative's house? First of all, you should know, many people do. You are not alone. That is a common feeling. But if you've pre-prepared and thought about the likely things to come up and a retort or a thing that you will have to say, or even know that if things get heated in a moment, it's also okay to say, I'm gonna take a time out. I'm just gonna go in the other room for some fresh air, something like that, and walk away. That's okay, and come back later. If you have this plan, then what you need to say to yourself when you're anxious is, I'm prepared. I feel good about this. I will focus on the relationship. I'm ready. See, just speaking with you, Dr. Seltz, I feel more relaxed. I hope folks take your advice and have respect. Engage people on the ham or turkey debate, right? Keep it safe. Always safe. Dr. Seltz, happy Thanksgiving. Thanks so much for being here. Happy Thanksgiving to you.

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