What does family life look like for children in Germany? What are daycare, school and free time like for them? What values do they take on?

Berlin

German families often encourage children to be independent from a young age, with many children traveling to school on their own and managing daily tasks such as preparing snacks. Parental roles are increasingly shared, with both mothers and fathers eligible to split parental leave and allowances, although mothers still perform most childcare and housework.

Daycare is widely available, with all toddlers entitled to a place from age one, though most start at three. School-age children often return home for lunch, and families prioritize free time and extracurricular activities like sports. Across different households, there is a common emphasis on fostering self-reliance, security, and a supportive family environment.

Are kids in Germany really more independent?

This is Lena, 11, and Max, 9. The two siblings are on their way to school, alone, without their parents. For us, it's actually quite normal. It's more fun to go with friends. What's normal everyday life for parents Michael and Rebecca Strothmann and their children is also normal for families across Germany. Children need to have their own experiences in certain areas. It's important for German children to learn self-reliance and personal responsibility. But what else can be said to be typical of family life in Germany? The Strothmanns from Emsland and the Schmidt family from Berlin are two quite average German families. The majority of the 8.5 million families in Germany have one to two children. Among them are 1.7 million mothers or fathers who are raising their children solo. At that moment, at the very latest, it has to be clear who is minding the baby. For Beate Schmidt and Konrad Kalisch from Berlin, it was clear from the start that they both wanted to share the parenting and housework equally. For up to 14 months after the birth, most parents in Germany receive 65% of their monthly income. And both parents are free to split the parental allowance between them. This is supposed to ensure more equality in parenting. The time comes when they start to move around, learning to walk and so on. I was still on parental leave and I got to experience all of that. It's really great. I wouldn't want to miss it. I'd recommend it to any father. But three-fourths of fathers only take this career break for the minimum period, which is two months. As a result, housework and child-rearing is still mainly done by mothers. Beate and Konrad's son Kasimir goes to a daycare center in Berlin. In Germany, all toddlers are entitled to daycare from the age of one, but most start at three. The motto here is learning while playing. The child has to deal linguistically with other opinions during play. They're independent, but constantly exposed to conflicts and contradictions with playmates. And they have to learn to compromise and to tolerate frustration. This is practiced automatically during play. And that's why playing is so important. Children are cared for in this daycare from Monday to Friday, 6.30 a.m. to 5.30 p.m. In some German states, daycare is free of charge. In others, parents have to pay up to 1,000 euros a month. And what's it like when the children start going to school? Let's take a look at the Strothmann family in Emsland. Lena and Max come home from school hungry. Around half of school kids in Germany eat lunch at home instead of at school. Rebecca works part-time and cooks for the family every lunchtime. Lena and Max usually get home from school between one and two o'clock. Until the meal is ready, they prepare their own snack. They have practice using a sharp knife. That's completely normal for us. At some point, they just wanted to try to cut something themselves. And then you let them, of course. Michael, who works nearby as a car salesman, is also there for lunch. But the kids, like all kids, are picky and don't eat the curry. They want the homemade pizza from the day before. Lena and Max each have their own room, where they do their homework. They usually finish all their assignments in around 30 minutes. Then they have free time. I think you shouldn't impose too much stress on a child at such a young age. You should give the child enough free time to do whatever they want and not schedule their whole day. It was important to both of us that the children practice at least one sport, whatever they want, where they meet other kids and also learn to experience successes, but also failures. Both children are active in sports clubs outside of school. Max plays soccer. Lena is a competitive gymnast. In Germany, around half of children and young people play sports in a club. The most important thing, I'd say, is the family, togetherness, that the children feel secure at home. It's important that the kids can be kids and can simply develop pretty much as they wish. We want them to grow up feeling safe, that they know they are valued and that they feel loved with all their quirks and differences. The Schmidt family and the Strautmann family. Two quite different families who have one big thing in common. They are both raising their kids in a typically German way.

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