With people across the U.S. gathering with family for the holidays, many are hoping that uncomfortable dinner table conversations will not be on the menu. Samantha Quigneaux, a licensed marriage and family therapist, joins "The Daily Report" to discuss.

New Orleans

As families gather for the holidays, uncomfortable conversations on topics such as politics, career choices, and finances can create tension. Samantha Kino, a licensed marriage and family therapist, recommends taking a deep breath and deciding whether to engage or exit when discussions become heated.

Kino advises preparing in advance by identifying which topics to discuss and setting boundaries in a warm, thoughtful manner. For those prone to anxiety, she suggests focusing on staying present and responding in the moment to help maintain a positive atmosphere during holiday gatherings.

Family therapist on handling heated dinner table conversations

With people across the country gathering with family for the holidays, one thing people are hoping is not on the menu is uncomfortable conversations at the dinner table. Loved ones may dish out tough topics like political views, education or career choices, romantic relationships, financial status, and this can all create a lot of tension and anxiety, and we don't want that. We want cheer. Joining us right now is Samantha Kino, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the National Director of Family Therapy Services at Newport Healthcare. Samantha, if viewers find themselves in the middle of a conversation that can get heated, what is the best way to de-escalate? Honestly, the first thing is to take a deep breath, right? In these moments, we want to be able to respond rather than react. So to really ground yourself and say, okay, do I want to engage in this conversation or do I want to kindly find my way out of it? And so if there are people who might be visiting family, they might be visiting friends, they think something like this might come up. Is there something that they can do to prepare? Of course. Figuring out what conversations you want to have ahead of time and those that you do not want to have. Having a game plan. If there are certain topics that come up, figuring out how to set your boundaries to take that deep breath and say, okay, if this topic comes up, I'm willing to engage. If that topic comes up, I'm not willing to engage and to really focus on figuring out your own boundaries and your own limitations and a way to prioritize your self-care. And how do you kindly tell people what your boundaries are? If a boundary of yours comes up, you don't want to engage. How do you deflect? How do you move on? This can be done in a really warm and thoughtful way, right? Boundaries and limits don't have to be set in a large way. Typically, if you do so with love, hey, I know this topic is really important to you. It's not something that I really want to be talking about today. Can we discuss something else, right? Being able to say no in a very thoughtful and loving way. This might be a little personal, but I am often one of those people who will have fights in my head and I build it up right before, before I even get there. I've already had a million fights and it's like I'm thinking about the worst case scenario so that I'm preparing myself, but actually you're only like suffering twice. So what is your advice to people who tend to be anxiety prone ahead of time, how to think about this and not just in terms of dread? Absolutely. And the holidays are, they're filled with a lot of pressure and maybe we are thinking about the worst case scenario and we want the holidays to be filled with fun and magic and love. So a huge component of this, one step at a time, right? We cannot predict what's going to happen. So when someone says something, take a moment to respond, stay as present as possible so that anxiety doesn't creep up on us, that we can really stay as present as possible so that the movie making doesn't get ahead of us. Okay. Samantha Kenya, thank you so much. Happy Thanksgiving. Absolutely. You too.

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