Name: Tips for combatting loneliness
Uploaded: 2025-12-29T17:12:06.330Z
Duration: 3 min 38 s
Description: Loneliness is on the rise in the U.S., with 40% of adults over 45 reporting feeling lonely, a recent AARP study shows. Dr. Sue Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist, has more.

Loneliness is on the rise in the U.S., with 40% of adults over 45 reporting feeling lonely, a recent AARP study shows. Dr. Sue Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist, has more.

A recent AARP study indicates that 40% of adults over 45 in the United States report feeling lonely, with men experiencing higher rates than women. Dr. Sue Varma, a board-certified psychiatrist, attributes this trend to factors such as the loss of communal spaces, increased caregiving responsibilities, longer work hours, and a culture that prioritizes individualism over community.

Dr. Varma emphasizes that fear of vulnerability and political division further exacerbate loneliness. She recommends starting conversations with common ground, using open-ended questions, and focusing on shared interests. While artificial intelligence can offer practical support, Dr. Varma stresses that it should not replace genuine human connection.

Tips for combatting loneliness

It is that time of the year when a lot of us catch up with friends and family, but for many Americans, it's a time of isolation. 40% of adults over 45 say they are lonely. That's according to a recent AARP study. And men have higher rates of loneliness than women. Dr. Sue Varma is a board-certified psychiatrist and the author of the book, Practical Optimism. She joins us now with more on what's being called the loneliness epidemic and how we can stay connected. Good morning, Dr. Varma. Good to see you. Good morning. Thank you. So what is the reason that we're seeing so many people, especially men, lonely, and why is it on the rise? Yes. So we're seeing that we have lost third spaces in society. We don't have the gyms, the cafes. There's long commute times. Cities are not planned around people gathering, right? We don't have a cafe culture here. We have more time being spent in caregiving, the sandwich generation towards young children, towards elderly parents. We're working longer hours. And at the crux of it is this very hyper-individualistic idea of self-fulfillment over collectivism, right? It's about what does it take for me to be happy at the expense of community. And I'm also seeing that a lot of men are struggling, whether the fact that maybe they're not partnered, right? And they have a harder time engaging in emotional intimacy, in being vulnerable, in being able to use language like, I'm lonely. Hey, dude, what's up? What are you up to? Can we grab a beer? Can we play pickleball? Can we do tennis, right? And especially I'm seeing this in younger generations. A lot of my male patients will say, it is so cringe. I have two sons. They say the same thing. Mom, you're a stalker. Why do you ask people what their name is and where do they live? And I'm like, that used to be normal conversation. Why is it weird, right? And a lot of my young male patients and female patients walk around with headphones, earbuds, and it's basically a big do not disturb sign. So I feel like we're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to ask for help. We think of it as a sign of weakness, hyper-reliance, self-reliance, individualism at the expense of communities, at the crux of it. Time management, attention management, we're living in the attention economy, right? So I think all of these things push us to figure it out yourself. And what about the political aspect of this? We're seeing so much political division in our society, and that's likely exacerbating this. What's your advice to people who are dealing with that in their own friends and family circle? Over the last 20 years, I feel like politics went from a belief that you had to who you became, right? Our political beliefs are now our identity, and that's a problem because it is no longer you and I have different belief systems. It's you and I are different people, and we can't see eye to eye, and therefore, we cannot negotiate this conversation. We are at an impasse. And what we need is to move past that, and first of all, when you see somebody, start with common ground. How are you? What have you been up to? Tell me about your family. There's a million and one things to talk about that do not involve political beliefs, right? And then if you are going to go there to say, help me understand. I want to know a little bit about your world view. Why do you feel this way? How did you come to this conclusion? That's so interesting. Tell me more. Open-ended questions. And then share a little bit about yourself, but very quickly move to common ground, common identity, shared beliefs, things like safety and health and equality, if you believe in those things, right? Find the common ground. And, Doctor, what about AI, quickly, before we let you go? A lot of people are using AI. Does that help with loneliness? Look, I'm a fan of AI at 3 a.m. when you're lonely or you're bored and you need like a quick, oh, my God, what's this recipe? Am I allowed to put vinegar in this soup type of thing? But like, it should not replace human connection. So please make an effort to say, I got this, the AI, but I've got to do it.

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