Mark Merrill, founder of the nonprofit Family First, joins "CBS Mornings Plus" with advice for parents whose kids are picking up foul language and how to curb it before it becomes a real problem.

Mark Merrill, founder of the nonprofit Family First, discusses strategies for parents when their children begin swearing. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying reasons for the behavior, such as frustration, mimicry, or a desire to impress others. Merrill suggests that parents should first explore what motivates their child's language, addressing both the emotional and behavioral aspects.

He recommends a three-step approach: review, reflect, and reconnect. This involves removing the child from the situation, discussing what happened and why it was wrong, and then encouraging the child to make better choices in the future. Merrill highlights the power of words and the need for parents to help children use language that builds others up rather than tearing them down.

What to do when your kid starts swearing

We've got just the person to talk to this about. Mark Merrill is the founder and president of the nonprofit Family First. They've got something called the All Pro Dad Program that offers parenting advice, encouragement, and tips for fathers. And he joins us now from Tampa to help out. Mark, thank you very much for joining us. I really appreciate it. I'm going through this now with my six-year-old. He's getting all kinds of, picking up all kinds of words at school from his older siblings. I don't know what to do, to be honest. So how should I react? Well, I hope it's not something like Ralphie, where he's dropped the F-bomb. But even if it is, we've got some solutions that, as Adriana said, we're going to swear by. And so what I would say is that, first of all, we need to understand that this is not just a tongue issue. It's not just what's said. It's also a heart issue. It's also why it's said. And so we need to first address that, if we're going to mold our child into the kind of person we want them to ultimately be as an adult. And we need to say, why is this? Because it's been said that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouse speaks. And so we need to say, like Ralphie, why did he say that? Well, he was frustrated. He was trying to impress his dad, and he was frustrated because he messed up. Well, we need to find out from our kids, what's in their heart? Why are they doing this? Are they just mimicking something they see on the screen? Are they trying to impress their friends? Are they angry, sad, afraid? What is the reason for that happening? So that's the first thing that we need to do. Then secondly, we need to say what. What's happening here? And that's a tongue issue. And you guys both know that really what we're talking about here is this is the most powerful muscle in the body. What does the tongue do? Well, it has the power to hurt or heal, to tear down or build up. And so we need to make sure that our kids understand just how powerful the tongue is. Adriana and Tony, I went to my grandson this morning, who is also six years old, Tony, and I said to him, I said, so why shouldn't we have potty talk? Why shouldn't we say bad words? What'd he say? He said, pop-pop, because it stinks. And really, that's really what it is. It stinks. And you know, when we say those words to other people, it smells bad. They don't like it, it stinks. They don't wanna be around it. And so we need to help them to understand that we need to be careful in what we say because these words can be demeaning, littling, and they just stink sometimes and other people don't wanna hear them. But pop-pop, if we have these conversations with our kids, if we've talked about the heart, the tongue, and they still are cursing, what should we do? I know some parents ignore it. Some parents let kids curse once a day. Do you recommend any of those alternatives? Once a day? Yeah, who doesn't? Not at all. We gotta nip it in the bud, and here we go. You ready for the solution? The three R's, review, reflect, and reconnect. So we wanna remove the child from the situation. If they're in public and they're around other people, remove them, send them there to the room, and then once they've cooled down, and maybe once you've cooled down, then we can go up there and we sit down. We look our child in the face and we say to them, so, Ralphie, what'd you do wrong? Why was it wrong? And what are you gonna do differently next time? So what'd you do wrong? Well, I was cussing. I said to put some potty talk. Okay, why is that wrong? It's mean and it hurts other people. Okay, so what are you gonna do differently the next time, Ralphie? Well, I'm not gonna do it anymore. And so once you've removed them, once you've reflected with them to get to the heart, then you reconnect. You get at their level and you say, you know what, Ralphie, I know you said the wrong thing, but you know what, I'm counting on you and I have confidence in you that you're gonna say the right things next time. And so we need to make sure that our words aren't tearing down, but they're building up. Mark Merrill with some fantastic advice. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna implement it in my own life. Thank you very much, sir.

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